The Unexpected Psychology of Belonging
When I first heard the podcast The Psychology of Run Clubs, I couldn’t stop nodding along. Even though I’ve never actually joined a run club, so much of what was said reminded me of my own story with triathlon clubs. The message was clear: running together (or training together in any sport) isn’t just about fitness. It’s about belonging, connection, and finding your people.
And honestly? That’s exactly why I started creating retreats. Because I know what it feels like to show up alone, craving community – and then discover that sport is the glue that holds friendships together for life.
The New Social Frontier
The podcast host described run clubs as “something simple, repetitive, social, and quietly transformative.” You don’t need to be fast, you don’t need to know anyone — you just need to put one foot in front of the other. And at the end, you’re rewarded with something most of us haven’t experienced since school or university: effortless socialising.
That hit me hard, because I’ve lived it.
When I moved to Cambridge, I didn’t know many people. Joining the Cambridge triathlon club completely changed that.
Training became my social life. Those sessions on dark winter mornings, swimming, cycling, running side by side — that’s where I found my best friends. And even now, years later, we’re spread across different countries but still as close as ever.
When I later moved to Italy, I had to start all over again. No ready-made circle of friends, no familiar faces. So I joined a triathlon group at the gym. Once again, I found my tribe — and some of my very best friends.
These communities gave me so much more than fitness. They gave me belonging.
Why Community Matters More Than Ever
The podcast explained that many of us are going through what psychologists call social displacement. After university or early career shifts, those built-in friendship structures just disappear. No more dorm rooms, daily classes, or easy hangouts. Suddenly, making friends as an adult feels overwhelming.
And the research is sobering: a 2021 Nature study showed our friendship networks shrink rapidly in our twenties. We become more selective, but also more isolated. Add in the irony of social media (digitally saturated, but relationally starved), and it’s no wonder so many women feel lonely.
This is why run clubs — or for me, triathlon clubs — matter so much. They reintroduce structured socialization. No awkward small talk in a café. No high-pressure “making plans.” Just show up, sweat a little, laugh a lot, and suddenly you’re surrounded by women who get you.
Shared Adventures, Stronger Bonds
One of my favourite things about training with a club is how it turns hard things into shared adventures.
When we’re running the stunning trails in Tuscany on the Retreat, it’s hard for everyone (including me) We cover quite a bit of uphill… but when you’re together, it doesn’t matter. Together you do it. The support everyone in the group gives is just magical, and creates the best friendships words can’t explain…you just have to experience it.
I still remember the time my group signed up for a half Ironman with brutal hills. On paper it looked terrifying. But because we were in it together, the training felt exciting, and race day turned into a memory I’ll never forget.
Or the time I supported my best buddy on her Ironman. We’d trained together through freezing mornings before sunrise, through exhaustion, through those “why am I doing this?” moments. Cheering her on, I felt every step of her race. She not only crossed that finish line — she met her now-partner on that trip, and today they have a little boy together.
This is the magic of sport: it’s never just about miles or medals. It’s about what happens between the sessions: the friendships, the love stories, the shared history.
The Female Connection
There’s another layer to all this, especially for women.
When I talk with other women in these groups, we’re not just discussing training plans. We talk about our menstrual cycles, how hormones affect our energy, and how sometimes, we simply can’t be at our peak 24/7.
There’s comfort in being with women who understand that, who nod knowingly and say, “me too.”
That honesty, that openness – it makes us feel seen. And it’s something I carry into the communities I build today.
More Than Fitness
The podcast also introduced the idea of the “social cure.” Belonging to meaningful groups doesn’t just feel good — it can actually improve mental and physical health. When we strongly identify with a group, our self-esteem grows, anxiety drops, and our bodies literally function better.
I can honestly say I’m fitter, healthier, and more energised than ever before — not because I train harder, but because I’ve built these different communities around me.
Being part of something bigger than myself gives me strength I couldn’t find alone.
Why I Create Retreats
This is why I started the Tuscany Run Retreats. Not to push women into running further or faster — but to create the same kind of connections that shaped my life. To give women a space to feel supported, to laugh, to share, to run, to eat, to be themselves.
Because whether it’s in a triathlon club in Cambridge, a gym in Italy, or on the rolling hills of Tuscany, the truth is the same: we thrive when we find our people.
So if you’ve been craving that sense of belonging, maybe it’s time. You don’t need to be the fastest. You don’t need to know anyone. You just need to show up.
Join us in Tuscany or get on the list for the Fasttrack to Triathlon program!
